Happy Halloween!

Have a safe and fun Halloween everyone!

Open Letter Friday

Being the dork I am I often compose little letters in my head to companies, annoying people, etc. I thought I would start sharing them with you guys (I know, I know you're thrilled right?) on Fridays. If you would like to add  yours you are more than welcome to either include it in the comment section or if I can ever remember how to do the McLinky thing then I'll include a link up at the bottom of the post. Happy Friday!
Dear Political Candidate,
Apparently next Tuesday there is an election going on. I know this because lately I have been bombarded by phone calls from candidates like yourself that are hungry for my vote. Being the nice person I am I thought I would point out a few things to you that might help you in your run for office.

• Do not call my house first thing in the morning, late at night, or dinnertime. As a matter of fact I would appreciate it very much if you just skipped the phone calls all together. 
• If you absolutely must call me then please have an actual person at your end of the phone. There is nothing more annoying than picking up the phone (or in my case letting the answering machine get it) and have a prerecorded message yelling at me all the reasons I should vote for you.
•  Be honest. I know, I know politicians and honesty are like this huge oxymoron, but I would be way more likely to vote for the person that admits "Yep, I inhaled and it was awesome" or "Of course I slept with her!" rather than someone than someone that thinks that I'm stupid enough to believe otherwise.
• Save the nicknames for when you're with friends and family. Seriously. Locally we have had a Twinkle, a Buzz, and a Scooter running for different offices. For some reason I just can't take any of those people seriously. That being said I'm thinking very hard about voting for Young Boozer for state treasurer.  The joke potential with a name like that is just too sweet to resist. Plus it's not even nickname, it's his real name! 

 I could go on and on but I figure you probably have an adviser that is actually getting paid to do this for you so I'll let them earn their money. 
Sincerely,
A. Disgruntled Voter

A little advice on projects

Never, ever ever use a jigsaw on the kitchen table. Because you know bad things might happen. Like you might cut straight through the wood and the table underneath.

 By the way this picture was taken after my husband filled in the cut with wood putty. I wanted to take a picture of the actual cut, but someone was being a Mr. Cranky Pants and wouldn't let me. For the record I'm not the one that did this. This time.

Here we go again!

As anyone that knows me well at all will tell you I have this thing about smells. I have a really strong sense of smell and if something smells bad or 'off' I'm the first to comment on it. I especially love for my house to smell good. When my house smells good it just seems to relax me and put me in a good mood. I used to use candle warmers through out the house, but last year there was an incident using one. Apparently the candle I bought had a crack at the base and I didn't realize it until it was much, much too late. After that little fiasco I put my candle warmers away and did things the old fashioned way and actually lit my candles. Crazy huh? Well a few days ago I was looking for something and ran across my candle warmers and thought 'hmm, maybe I should give them a try again'. I put a buttercream candle in the living room and it smelled awesome. If you've never used a candle warmer you would be surprised at the difference it makes. It melts the entire candle so you get a much stronger smell throughout your home. Well being the brainiac that I am I thought I would put one in Kylie's room yesterday. I made sure to put it in a corner where no one goes so I wouldn't have to worry about it getting bumped by anyone. It smelled great in there. As I went into her room last night to read with her I was thinking to myself that I was so happy to have started using my warmers again. Umm, yeah. Can you see where this is going? Right before I walked out of her room she said, "uh-oh" The one spot in her room where no one ever goes? She went there.

Needless to say the candle warmers will be put away again.

Weekend recap-Tantrums and Projects

This weekend was positively insane. It didn't get off to a very good start because the girls were are icky with allergies. For some reason Sophie always runs a temp when she has them and that is just what she did. All.weekend.long. The bad thing is that I cannot get medicine into her to save my life. When she had pneumonia a few months ago she actually elected to get two shots everyday rather than take the medicine. It's that bad. That meant that I pretty much spent all weekend holding her. Not a bad deal, but I also had spend my time fussing at a certain eight year old that I am convinced has recently become possessed by some unknown evil force. Seriously, my Kylie has had her moments, but for the most part she has always been a sweet, loving child. Apparently those days have gone bye-bye. She has become rude and self centered and I am at my wits end. The times I wasn't trying to coax her little sister to eat or drink something I was spending fussing at her to do her homework and quit being mean to Audrey. It was bad.
Speaking of projects we had quite a few going on here this weekend. Audrey had to read a book and decorate a pumpkin to look like the main character. She really, really wanted to do The Princess and the Frog because she has a slight obsession with Princess Tiana, but when she realized that she had to stand in front of the class and give an oral book report and tell the names of the author and illustrator she changed her mind. The book report part didn't bother her so much, but the author and illustrator had somewhat hard to pronounce names so she decided to do something else. Fine by me. She picked the book Mittens about a new kitten. 

 

Naturally we had no grey paint so we had to mix our own. She really enjoyed her project and I think it turned out okay.

 I let Kylie and Sophie pick out a pumpkin to decorate as well, but it didn't go quite as well with them. Kylie kept complaining and ended up not doing anything with hers.

  I warned her I would post this picture.

Sophie took some markers to her pumpkin, but as you can see by her face, she just wasn't as into it as she normally would be.

 Kylie also had a reading project to do this weekend. She had to write a book report and make a diorama. Her teacher gave her a paper to write the book report on with lines on the front and back. She filled those out and wrote an additional six pages. She's kind of long winded I guess. After much arguing I told her I wasn't helping with her project anymore. I'm hoping that her grade doesn't suffer too much for it because the diorama was definitely not her best work.

 And not to be left out I'm working on a project of my own. It's not finished yet, but I'll give you some hints about it. It's not a room (thank goodness!) and it's something you play with. Here's a picture of the curtains I made for it. Please excuse the wrinkles, someone who shall remain unnamed for now wadded them up and threw them to the side. 

 I'm crossing my fingers that it will be finished on Wednesday. It requires the cutting of wood and I don't trust myself with power tools so I'm going to wait until my husband is home to make him do it. Hopefully it won't turn out as badly as my last few projects. Wish me luck!

Open Letter Friday

Being the dork I am I often compose little letters in my head to companies, annoying people, etc. I thought I would start sharing them with you guys (I know, I know you're thrilled right?) on Fridays. If you would like to add  yours you are more than welcome to either include it in the comment section or if I can ever remember how to do the McLinky thing then I'll include a link up at the bottom of the post. Happy Friday!

Dear Employer (a.k.a my children),
This letter is to let you know that I am putting you on notice. If serious changes are not made within the workplace (a.k.a home) soon then I shall be forced to tender my resignation. As I'm sure you have no clue what I am referring to I thought I would outline it for you.

1. Food- My days of playing short order cook are over. If you don't like what I make for dinner then you can either make a sandwich or go hungry. Also, there are at least ten boxes of cereal in the pantry that  you are more than welcome to help yourself to. No, snack cakes do not count as dinner.
2. Homework- My school days ended more years ago than I care to remember. That means that I've already done all of my homework and I will not be doing yours. If you wait until the last minute to do a project, well my friend you are on your own. Harsh? Maybe, but I refuse to be yelled at by my own children because I "don't know what I'm doing".
3. Referee Services-  As entertaining as it is to listen to you tattle on each other from the time you wake up until you go to bed at night I'm afraid I can no longer do provide this service. The wall in my bedroom has a huge dent in it from beating my head against it and I'm afraid if I do it much longer then I will end up putting a hole in it. 
4.  Cleaning- Contrary to popular belief we do not have a self cleaning house. Crazy isn't it? If you cannot pick up after yourselves then your weekly allowance will be going into my bank, not yours. 

I have spoken to my union representative (a.k.a. dad) and he believes that these changes are quite reasonable and should go into effect immediately. Looking forward to a new and improved workplace!
Sincerely,
Mom

No more school work please!

I really love when school starts because I'm one of those people that desperately needs schedule and routine. However, one thing that I don't love about school being in session is all the extra work it brings with it. Luckily this year the girls have teachers that don't assign massive amounts of homework. Unfortunately they do assign 'projects'. Lots and lots of projects. I dread looking in the girls assignment folder when they get home from school because there is almost always a letter about an upcoming project in it. Currently Kylie has a math project and a reading project to do. Yesterday Audrey brought home one of the dreaded notes informing me that she has a project to do for her reading class. The thing that drives me insane about these projects is they usually require me to go buy things for them. I promise I'm not being cheap when I say this, I'm being lazy. Nine times out of ten it's some strange, obscure thing that I have to run all over town to find. Also, unlike their homework assignments the projects almost always have to be done over the weekends so they can be turned in on Monday. That of course means that I have to ride them all weekend to get them finished. See, this doesn't really work for me. Weekends are supposed to be the time for me to make my husband finish his projects around the house. So teachers I'm begging you, please lighten up on the projects. Please?? Cause I'm really wanting to get some work done in my kitchen and I don't know if I have it in me to wait until summer break.

Wordless Wednesday

Best Friends

Linking up with Angry Julie Monday.

Mommy's got some more bragging to do!

Sorry guys, but mommy has got to brag on her kids some.
Yesterday Audrey brought home her AR folder and she had all 100's in it. I'm so excited because she wasn't doing so hot on her AR tests when school began and I know that she has been working really hard on her reading. She tends to compare herself to Kylie a lot and even though she is just as smart as Kylie she doesn't see it and gets down on herself a lot. Typical middle child behaviour I suppose. 
Kylie is also doing really well on her AR tests. She set a goal for herself at the beginning of the school year, she wants to make the 100 book club by Christmas. Currently she is at 81. I think she'll make it. She's testing on books in the upper fifth grade level (she's in third) so I was a bit worried about her getting in over her head, but she seems to be doing fine. She also won second place in a writing contest between the third, fourth and fifth grades. She's a little embarrassed because now her essay is being submitted for competition among the other schools in the county. She hates extra attention so this is killing her. 
Sophie? Well she had kind of a rough night last night so I'm going to have to dig deep here. Hmm..... oh she helped me make this cake yesterday and didn't even try to eat any of the chocolate. she's a huge chocoholic so that's saying a lot.

Don't laugh at my pitiful jack-o-lantern. Well okay, go ahead and laugh, I know it's kind of sad. I've been told that it tastes really, really good though. I wouldn't know because I've haven't had any since I'm trying to be good and all. Anyway, I'll quit bragging on my awesome kids now. I hope all of you have a fantastic day today!

Weekend recap

Happy Monday everyone, hope you all had a great weekend! Mine was wonderful. My husband finally had an entire weekend off. I can't even begin to remember the last time that's happened. Saturday we took the girls to the fall festival at their school. I was a really bad mom this year and did not sign up to do anything! I know that sounds awful, but I have to admit it was so nice to be able to watch the girls play. 

 

They had a fantastic time and slept very well that night. Sunday was just a lazy day of doing nothing. Well for me anyway. The kids played outside while their daddy worked on a little project for them and I sat around and read a book, watched some HGTV, and did a little online shopping. I didn't even have to cook because dear old husband did it all this weekend. Pure bliss. 

 

Open Letter Friday

Being the dork I am I often compose little letters in my head to companies, annoying people, etc. I thought I would start sharing them with you guys (I know, I know you're thrilled right?) on Fridays. If you would like to add  yours you are more than welcome to either include it in the comment section or if I can ever remember how to do the McLinky thing then I'll include a link up at the bottom of the post. Happy Friday!
Dear Hopeless Homeowner,
As I have been walking in our neighborhood everyday I've noticed a few things. One thing I've noticed is that your house is for sale. Not a huge deal as there are houses for sale everywhere right now. The thing that strikes me about your house however is the fact that it has had a for sale sign in it for at least a year that I know of. I'm not a real estate expert nor do I play one on t.v., but being the good neighbor I am I thought I would give you some selling tips. 

• Mow your lawn. Apparently buyers don't enjoy wading through weeds to get to your front door. Crazy, huh?
• The orange-y brown and black paint job? Not that great. I'm sure it was probably the height of home decor when you painted it twenty years ago, but today not so much.
• Park your trash can behind your house on days of the week you are not expecting trash pick up. It really smells and I'm sure no one wants to see how many Budweisers you can consume in a week. 
• And last but definitely not least....your car. No, I'm not knocking the kind of car you drive, but rather all of the crap that is on it. Anti-government bumper stickers are one thing, but when you take shoe polish and write all over every available window space? Not so good. Most people tend to be somewhat freaked out when they pull into a  yard and notice all the government conspiracy theories you written all over the windows.  

Anyway, I hope that my tips helped you because I personally would really, really like to see your home sell. 
Sincerely,
Your somewhat freaked out neighbor

This and that

I hope everyone has been having a fantastic week. Mine started off horribly, but I think it's finally trying to redeem itself.

• Sophie and I have been walking everyday since Sunday. I used to have the neighborhood mapped out and would walk 3.3 miles a day and try to beat a certain time to get finished, but this time I'm not looking at the clock or measuring distance at all. We've been taking different routes everyday to keep things somewhat interesting. Hopefully we'll get some cool weather soon so I won't feel like a puddle of sweat when I'm done. Oh, and I have not weighed myself either. I kinda, sorta know what I weigh but I don't want to get too focused on weighing myself all the time. I think that once the clothes feel loose then I'll weigh.
• Today is my older brothers birthday. I'm a crap sister because I still haven't picked up anything for him yet. He's 41 and single. I'm thinking a girlfriend.
•  We've been dealing with horrible nightmares this week. No, not the kids. Mine. I know it's because I went to funeral services earlier this week, but I had no idea it would affect me so much. 
• I've been a little stressed lately. My husband has had to work extra days to fill in for people at work so I've been doing the single mom thing for about three weeks now. Yesterday he finally had a day off work and it was so nice. I made him mop the kitchen floor. 
• Apparently when I'm stressed I like to shop. I checked my emails this  morning and had a ton of shipping notifications. Currently I'm waiting on eleven packages to arrive. The sad thing? I had four arrive yesterday. 

Have a great day everyone!

Wordless Wednesday

Fun at the park.

Linking up with Angry Julie Monday.

Talk about a wake up call

I've been thinking about getting into shape for quite some time now. Not so much for looks (although that would be a huge bonus!), but because I just don't feel so great. I used to walk about 3 and a half miles a day, but a few years ago (yes, I said years!) I had a knee injury that took forever to heal and things just went downhill from there. I've basically done nothing since then. Yes, I am hanging my head in shame. Anyway, I recently ordered some fancy shmancy new shoes for myself and a cheapy stroller for Sophie. I know Sophie is really kind of old for a stroller, but since I pretty much have no one to watch her I figured I might as well take her with me. Well both of these items have pretty much just sat unused for about a week. Until yesterday. 
Yesterday I received a wake up call. Literally. Remember when I posted about how much I hate those phone calls that come before 10:00 a.m and after 10:00 p.m? Well, I got one yesterday. My mother was calling to let me know that my cousins wife died of a heart attack Saturday night. A heart attack. You know those things that are only supposed to happen to really, really, really old people? Yes, she was older than me, but not by a huge amount of years. It just breaks my heart that someone so kindhearted and sweet will not be around anymore. Not only does it make me sad that the world has lost a great person, but as I said it was a huge wake up call for me personally. The thought of not being around to watch my babies grow up just makes me ill. So yesterday I took the first step. Literally. I slipped on my fancy shmancy new shoes, asked the kids if they wanted to join me and off we went. I know it's not much, but it's a start and hopefully it's the beginning of a healthier lifestyle.

Open Letter Friday

Being the dork I am I often compose little letters in my head to companies, annoying people, etc. I thought I would start sharing them with you guys (I know, I know you're thrilled right?) on Fridays. If you would like to add  yours you are more than welcome to either include it in the comment section or if I can ever remember how to do the McLinky thing then I'll include a link up at the bottom of the post. Happy Friday!
Dear Clueless Mom,
Storytime at the local library is such a fun thing for our children. What is especially fun? Watching your child beat on a glass door for over twenty minutes while you sit around and pretend you don't notice. Not only is it loud and distracting to the children that are trying to listen to the librarian it makes me a nervous wreck. I'm telling you this because while you sit outside the storytime room with your other mom friends drinking your coffee (By the way the no food and no drinks sign they have posted? I'm pretty sure it's for everyone) I've got my phone ready to speed dial 911 when the glass breaks and little precious starts to bleed out. So please don't worry about your child, just go back to being oblivious. And when your child runs through the library pulling books off the shelf? Don't worry about that either. I'm sure someone will pick them up. Same thing with the puzzle pieces your angel was throwing at everyone. Now that was amusing. The ear splitting screams were kind of fun too. Looking forward to seeing you guys next week!
Sincerely,
Annoyed Mommy

Proud mommy moment

Allow me to brag for a moment on my eldest child if you will. 

 Last night at the PTA meeting Kylie was awarded citizen of the month. Again. Fourth year in a row. She takes after me ya know. Okay maybe not. My husband and I are thinking that this kind of thing must skip a generation. Regardless I am very proud of my baby. She works so hard in school and even though she rolls her eyes and acts like this is all no big deal I know she's proud of herself too.

The weekend of ugly.

This weekend the girls and I attended a family reunion. Naturally my husband had to work so I did it alone. I'm pretty sure all of my aunts, uncles and cousins are convinced I don't actually have a husband because it never fails everytime we have a family get together he is at work. Anyway..... I've often joked to my husband that every family has an Uncle Eddie. You know the guy from the National Lampoon's movies? 

The reunion was held at this really nice park with a picnic area. The kids were playing on the playground and the adults were visiting and playing catch up with each other. And then he arrived. Uncle Eddie. Now in all fairness to my family this guy is not actually a family member by blood. I believe he married a cousin or something. While most of the people at the reunion were average, pleasant everyday people. This guy? Well he wasn't. He arrived with a cigarette and a can of beer. I have no problem with people that smoke, just don't do it around me or my kids. I have no problem with people that drink either, but drinking to me is one of those 'right time, right place' type things. Apparently drinking his beer, smoking his cigarette and stuffing his face took all the energy he had in him. I walked up and found him sprawled out on a picnic bench with his big, tattooed gut hanging out. Naturally I took a picture. Because I'm a jerk like that.
Unfortunately I didn't get a good one because people kept walking in front of me, but here ya go.

Sorry ladies, I'm afraid he's taken already. As if that weren't enough beauty for my eyes to behold I came home to find a facebook request from this guy in my inbox:

I know, I know you guys are totally jealous. Sadly I had to turn down his request. My husband was too jealous.
Oh, but the ugly doesn't end there. Later that night when my husband arrived home from work he was in a very grumpy mood. I asked him if he had a bad day at work and he told me that no it had been a pretty good one actually, it was coming home to egg on the front door and having to clean it up that did him in. Yes, that's right apparently our house was egged. Nice huh? The kids and I were home all evening and didn't even have a clue. 
I was really hoping Sunday would be nice, but alas we had a bit of ugly pop up there too, although in a different form. We took the kids to the park to play and on the way home I had to stop by target to pick up some things for the girls lunches this week. Kylie had her purse with her so she asked if she could buy a webkinz. I told her I didn't care and then Audrey went and grabbed one. Audrey had no money. Mommy wasn't paying for it. Drama ensued. I finally calmed her down, but then I made a tragic mistake. I kissed her on the cheek and told her I loved her. Horrible right? Well for Audrey it was. She has always been super sensitive to well, pretty much everything. The biggest thing is kisses. She cannot stand for someone to kiss her. EVER. And of course I just screwed up and did it. In a public place no less. She began crying and screaming all over again. She told me she did not love me anymore, that I was disgusting and made her want to throw up. Nice, eh? So that kind of ended my ugly weekend. Hopefully this week will be much, much better than the weekend was.

Open letter Friday-Pottery Barn Kids

Being the dork I am I often compose little letters in my head to companies, annoying people, etc. I thought I would start sharing them with you guys (I know, I know you're thrilled right?) on Fridays. If you would like to add  yours you are more than welcome to either include it in the comment section or if I can ever remember how to do the McLinky thing then I'll include a link up at the bottom of the post. Happy Friday!
Dear Pottery Barn Kids,
First of all I would like to say that I love and adore your ridiculously overpriced company. I have been a fan and customer for quite a few years now. Generally I have had nothing but good experiences with you, the quality of the products are great and the customer service is phenomenal. Right now however I am not a happy mommy. A few days  ago I received my new catalog in the mail. Since this week has been a bit crazy it kind of took me awhile to get around to looking through it. Now I'm wishing I hadn't. You see, within the pages of that innocent looking little magazine I found this:

 

What's the big deal right? The big deal is that you have gone and added not one, not two, but THREE new dolls! To make matters even worse I went online and noticed that not only did you bastards add new dolls, but you added new furniture and accessories. 

  Now I'm sure you're probably reading this thinking "okay crazy lady what's your problem?" My problem is three part. One I have spent the past year buying all of the dolls that you make. Not just the ones on your website but I've also had to stalk eBay to find some of the ones that you quit making. Two I have three daughters and that makes things pricey when you are multiplying by three. Three I have already bought everything for my children's Christmas. Yes I realize that it is just now the first of October, but I like to shop early. So I'm asking you to please, please, please stop the insanity. My husband loves me very much, but I do believe that if I hit the submit button on my $428 (before tax and shipping) online cart after I have repeatedly assured him that I am finished toy shopping he may very well leave me.  So for the sake of my children no more cute stuff! Okay? Thanks very much. 
Sincerely,
Lana