Parental faux pas we should all try to avoid

Earlier today I went to the kids school for their honors program (don't worry this isn't going to be a brag post). I'm at the school a good bit in a volunteer capacity, but I have to say every single time I go to one of the programs I always leave shaking my head. Not because of the kids mind you, but because of some of the parents. It truly never fails to amaze me what is considered acceptable dress and behaviour by some people. Believe me if you're a parent then your kid is most likely already embarrassed by your mere presence, you really don't need to add to it.  So please allow me to present my own personal list of do's and don'ts:

• Take a shower before you show up at your childs school. Please. I understand if you have a very physical job and you took some time off to run up to the school to see your kid and can't help that you have a bit of body odor. However, if you are a mom that stays at home with no younger children to chase after then it kind of becomes unacceptable. 
• When the teacher asks for parents to hold their applause until all the childrens names have been called out that generally includes other noises as well. Wolf whistles and screaming "All right Jessie!" are kind of annoying.
• Midriff tops are not really appropriate for elementary school. If I want to see a puffy, pale belly covered in stretch marks I'll just look in the mirror as I'm getting dressed. Trust me I don't need to see yours.
• If you have a tattoo that you think might embarrass your kid then consider covering it up. I'm sure when you got Big Boob Betty tattooed on your forearm it probably seemed like a good idea at the time, but your first grade daughter might disagree when all her friends are giggling about it.
• Your sweatpants and flip flops look about as good in January as your daisy dukes and uggs did back in August. 
• If you are coughing up a lung you have my sympathy, but please cover your mouth. Or at least don't sit by me. I really don't want your tuberculosis I promise.
• If you walk by me and I can still smell your perfume or cologne when you are on the other side of the gym then that might be a sign that you are wearing too much. 
• When you get up to take little precious' picture please be considerate of those you are standing in front of. I really don't enjoy having your butt 1/2 an inch from my face. Also, I would kind of like to get a picture of my own child.
• If you are sitting next to me and your best friend is on my other side and you want to talk during the program ask me to change seats with one of you. Having you talk over me is just kind of rude.
• If you can't turn your cell phone off at least put it on silent. Sure your ring tone is cute, but it gets kind of old after awhile.