Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Life Today

It's been quite some time since I've posted on my old blog.  Like most of you I've been busy with family, work, and all the billion activities that go along with life. Until now. You see things kind of came to a screeching halt around here on September the 9th for me. That was the day I heard the dreaded words "It's cancer." Yep, that's right I am now that one woman out of every eight that has breast cancer. 
Now that I have finally (somewhat) wrapped my brain around it I thought I would post about what is going on. I'm posting not only for myself, but in case what I am about to go through might be able to help someone else in a similar situation. So....let's begin at the beginning shall we?
I'm not one of those women that found a lump during a routine breast exam. Heck, I rarely ever did them. I would occasionally check when I was in the shower, but quite frankly I didn't think about it that often. I went in to my doctor for a check up and while there she did an exam. She told me everything looked good, but I was due for my mammogram so I made an appointment to go the next week. I was actually quite annoyed about having to make the appointment. My kids just started back to school and since I sub at their school and volunteer there I knew I didn't have time to stop for an appointment. I shudder to think of how close I came to cancelling it. 
I went in for the mammogram and kind of felt something might not be right because the technician kept checking my right breast. I wasn't overly concerned because at my last mammogram (two years prior) my right side showed something. However two years ago when I went back for a second screening they quickly told me everything was okay. Not this time unfortunately. I was told to come back in a few days for a biopsy. I kept calm while in the doctors office, but walking to the parking lot the tears came. All I could think about was having cancer and not getting to watch my babies grow up. Anyone that has ever meet me will tell you that those three little girls of mine are my everything. The thought of missing one minute of their life had me scared, sad and angry. The biopsy wasn't fun, but it wasn't horrible either. I was still in denial because I couldn't feel anything, the mammogram tech. couldn't feel anything and the doctor even had a hard time feeling anything. Sadly, the biopsy didn't have a hard time finding anything. It found a tumor approximately two centimeters. 
When I received the diagnosis I was oddly enough calmer than I had been during my waiting period. I now knew what was going on and could do something about it. As of now my doctors want me to have chemo starting tomorrow. When I am done with that I will have a lumpectomy, then a month later I will start six weeks of radiation. To be honest I waver from day to day with my emotions on this whole, nasty mess. I'm lucky in that my cancer was caught early, however I'm what's known as triple negative which means that I have a more aggressive cancer with a lower survival rate. Sucks doesn't it? But you know what? That's life and sometimes in life we just have to suck it up and deal with it. 

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