Open Letter Friday

Being the dork I am I often compose little letters in my head to companies, annoying people, etc. I thought I would start sharing them with you guys (I know, I know you're thrilled right?) on Fridays. If you would like to add  yours you are more than welcome to either include it in the comment section or if I can ever remember how to do the McLinky thing then I'll include a link up at the bottom of the post. Happy Friday!
Dear Political Candidate,
Apparently next Tuesday there is an election going on. I know this because lately I have been bombarded by phone calls from candidates like yourself that are hungry for my vote. Being the nice person I am I thought I would point out a few things to you that might help you in your run for office.

• Do not call my house first thing in the morning, late at night, or dinnertime. As a matter of fact I would appreciate it very much if you just skipped the phone calls all together. 
• If you absolutely must call me then please have an actual person at your end of the phone. There is nothing more annoying than picking up the phone (or in my case letting the answering machine get it) and have a prerecorded message yelling at me all the reasons I should vote for you.
•  Be honest. I know, I know politicians and honesty are like this huge oxymoron, but I would be way more likely to vote for the person that admits "Yep, I inhaled and it was awesome" or "Of course I slept with her!" rather than someone than someone that thinks that I'm stupid enough to believe otherwise.
• Save the nicknames for when you're with friends and family. Seriously. Locally we have had a Twinkle, a Buzz, and a Scooter running for different offices. For some reason I just can't take any of those people seriously. That being said I'm thinking very hard about voting for Young Boozer for state treasurer.  The joke potential with a name like that is just too sweet to resist. Plus it's not even nickname, it's his real name! 

 I could go on and on but I figure you probably have an adviser that is actually getting paid to do this for you so I'll let them earn their money. 
Sincerely,
A. Disgruntled Voter

A little advice on projects

Never, ever ever use a jigsaw on the kitchen table. Because you know bad things might happen. Like you might cut straight through the wood and the table underneath.

 By the way this picture was taken after my husband filled in the cut with wood putty. I wanted to take a picture of the actual cut, but someone was being a Mr. Cranky Pants and wouldn't let me. For the record I'm not the one that did this. This time.

Here we go again!

As anyone that knows me well at all will tell you I have this thing about smells. I have a really strong sense of smell and if something smells bad or 'off' I'm the first to comment on it. I especially love for my house to smell good. When my house smells good it just seems to relax me and put me in a good mood. I used to use candle warmers through out the house, but last year there was an incident using one. Apparently the candle I bought had a crack at the base and I didn't realize it until it was much, much too late. After that little fiasco I put my candle warmers away and did things the old fashioned way and actually lit my candles. Crazy huh? Well a few days ago I was looking for something and ran across my candle warmers and thought 'hmm, maybe I should give them a try again'. I put a buttercream candle in the living room and it smelled awesome. If you've never used a candle warmer you would be surprised at the difference it makes. It melts the entire candle so you get a much stronger smell throughout your home. Well being the brainiac that I am I thought I would put one in Kylie's room yesterday. I made sure to put it in a corner where no one goes so I wouldn't have to worry about it getting bumped by anyone. It smelled great in there. As I went into her room last night to read with her I was thinking to myself that I was so happy to have started using my warmers again. Umm, yeah. Can you see where this is going? Right before I walked out of her room she said, "uh-oh" The one spot in her room where no one ever goes? She went there.

Needless to say the candle warmers will be put away again.

Weekend recap-Tantrums and Projects

This weekend was positively insane. It didn't get off to a very good start because the girls were are icky with allergies. For some reason Sophie always runs a temp when she has them and that is just what she did. All.weekend.long. The bad thing is that I cannot get medicine into her to save my life. When she had pneumonia a few months ago she actually elected to get two shots everyday rather than take the medicine. It's that bad. That meant that I pretty much spent all weekend holding her. Not a bad deal, but I also had spend my time fussing at a certain eight year old that I am convinced has recently become possessed by some unknown evil force. Seriously, my Kylie has had her moments, but for the most part she has always been a sweet, loving child. Apparently those days have gone bye-bye. She has become rude and self centered and I am at my wits end. The times I wasn't trying to coax her little sister to eat or drink something I was spending fussing at her to do her homework and quit being mean to Audrey. It was bad.
Speaking of projects we had quite a few going on here this weekend. Audrey had to read a book and decorate a pumpkin to look like the main character. She really, really wanted to do The Princess and the Frog because she has a slight obsession with Princess Tiana, but when she realized that she had to stand in front of the class and give an oral book report and tell the names of the author and illustrator she changed her mind. The book report part didn't bother her so much, but the author and illustrator had somewhat hard to pronounce names so she decided to do something else. Fine by me. She picked the book Mittens about a new kitten. 

 

Naturally we had no grey paint so we had to mix our own. She really enjoyed her project and I think it turned out okay.

 I let Kylie and Sophie pick out a pumpkin to decorate as well, but it didn't go quite as well with them. Kylie kept complaining and ended up not doing anything with hers.

  I warned her I would post this picture.

Sophie took some markers to her pumpkin, but as you can see by her face, she just wasn't as into it as she normally would be.

 Kylie also had a reading project to do this weekend. She had to write a book report and make a diorama. Her teacher gave her a paper to write the book report on with lines on the front and back. She filled those out and wrote an additional six pages. She's kind of long winded I guess. After much arguing I told her I wasn't helping with her project anymore. I'm hoping that her grade doesn't suffer too much for it because the diorama was definitely not her best work.

 And not to be left out I'm working on a project of my own. It's not finished yet, but I'll give you some hints about it. It's not a room (thank goodness!) and it's something you play with. Here's a picture of the curtains I made for it. Please excuse the wrinkles, someone who shall remain unnamed for now wadded them up and threw them to the side. 

 I'm crossing my fingers that it will be finished on Wednesday. It requires the cutting of wood and I don't trust myself with power tools so I'm going to wait until my husband is home to make him do it. Hopefully it won't turn out as badly as my last few projects. Wish me luck!

Open Letter Friday

Being the dork I am I often compose little letters in my head to companies, annoying people, etc. I thought I would start sharing them with you guys (I know, I know you're thrilled right?) on Fridays. If you would like to add  yours you are more than welcome to either include it in the comment section or if I can ever remember how to do the McLinky thing then I'll include a link up at the bottom of the post. Happy Friday!

Dear Employer (a.k.a my children),
This letter is to let you know that I am putting you on notice. If serious changes are not made within the workplace (a.k.a home) soon then I shall be forced to tender my resignation. As I'm sure you have no clue what I am referring to I thought I would outline it for you.

1. Food- My days of playing short order cook are over. If you don't like what I make for dinner then you can either make a sandwich or go hungry. Also, there are at least ten boxes of cereal in the pantry that  you are more than welcome to help yourself to. No, snack cakes do not count as dinner.
2. Homework- My school days ended more years ago than I care to remember. That means that I've already done all of my homework and I will not be doing yours. If you wait until the last minute to do a project, well my friend you are on your own. Harsh? Maybe, but I refuse to be yelled at by my own children because I "don't know what I'm doing".
3. Referee Services-  As entertaining as it is to listen to you tattle on each other from the time you wake up until you go to bed at night I'm afraid I can no longer do provide this service. The wall in my bedroom has a huge dent in it from beating my head against it and I'm afraid if I do it much longer then I will end up putting a hole in it. 
4.  Cleaning- Contrary to popular belief we do not have a self cleaning house. Crazy isn't it? If you cannot pick up after yourselves then your weekly allowance will be going into my bank, not yours. 

I have spoken to my union representative (a.k.a. dad) and he believes that these changes are quite reasonable and should go into effect immediately. Looking forward to a new and improved workplace!
Sincerely,
Mom

No more school work please!

I really love when school starts because I'm one of those people that desperately needs schedule and routine. However, one thing that I don't love about school being in session is all the extra work it brings with it. Luckily this year the girls have teachers that don't assign massive amounts of homework. Unfortunately they do assign 'projects'. Lots and lots of projects. I dread looking in the girls assignment folder when they get home from school because there is almost always a letter about an upcoming project in it. Currently Kylie has a math project and a reading project to do. Yesterday Audrey brought home one of the dreaded notes informing me that she has a project to do for her reading class. The thing that drives me insane about these projects is they usually require me to go buy things for them. I promise I'm not being cheap when I say this, I'm being lazy. Nine times out of ten it's some strange, obscure thing that I have to run all over town to find. Also, unlike their homework assignments the projects almost always have to be done over the weekends so they can be turned in on Monday. That of course means that I have to ride them all weekend to get them finished. See, this doesn't really work for me. Weekends are supposed to be the time for me to make my husband finish his projects around the house. So teachers I'm begging you, please lighten up on the projects. Please?? Cause I'm really wanting to get some work done in my kitchen and I don't know if I have it in me to wait until summer break.

Wordless Wednesday

Best Friends

Linking up with Angry Julie Monday.