Open Letter Friday

Being the dork I am I often compose little letters in my head to companies, annoying people, etc. I thought I would start sharing them with you guys (I know, I know you're thrilled right?) on Fridays. If you would like to add  yours you are more than welcome to either include it in the comment section or if I can ever remember how to do the McLinky thing then I'll include a link up at the bottom of the post. Happy Friday!
Dear Hopeless Homeowner,
As I have been walking in our neighborhood everyday I've noticed a few things. One thing I've noticed is that your house is for sale. Not a huge deal as there are houses for sale everywhere right now. The thing that strikes me about your house however is the fact that it has had a for sale sign in it for at least a year that I know of. I'm not a real estate expert nor do I play one on t.v., but being the good neighbor I am I thought I would give you some selling tips. 

• Mow your lawn. Apparently buyers don't enjoy wading through weeds to get to your front door. Crazy, huh?
• The orange-y brown and black paint job? Not that great. I'm sure it was probably the height of home decor when you painted it twenty years ago, but today not so much.
• Park your trash can behind your house on days of the week you are not expecting trash pick up. It really smells and I'm sure no one wants to see how many Budweisers you can consume in a week. 
• And last but definitely not least....your car. No, I'm not knocking the kind of car you drive, but rather all of the crap that is on it. Anti-government bumper stickers are one thing, but when you take shoe polish and write all over every available window space? Not so good. Most people tend to be somewhat freaked out when they pull into a  yard and notice all the government conspiracy theories you written all over the windows.  

Anyway, I hope that my tips helped you because I personally would really, really like to see your home sell. 
Sincerely,
Your somewhat freaked out neighbor