Dear Hopeless Homeowner,
As I have been walking in our neighborhood everyday I've noticed a few things. One thing I've noticed is that your house is for sale. Not a huge deal as there are houses for sale everywhere right now. The thing that strikes me about your house however is the fact that it has had a for sale sign in it for at least a year that I know of. I'm not a real estate expert nor do I play one on t.v., but being the good neighbor I am I thought I would give you some selling tips.
- Mow your lawn. Apparently buyers don't enjoy wading through weeds to get to your front door. Crazy, huh?
- The orange-y brown and black paint job? Not that great. I'm sure it was probably the height of home decor when you painted it twenty years ago, but today not so much.
- Park your trash can behind your house on days of the week you are not expecting trash pick up. It really smells and I'm sure no one wants to see how many Budweisers you can consume in a week.
- And last but definitely not least....your car. No, I'm not knocking the kind of car you drive, but rather all of the crap that is on it. Anti-government bumper stickers are one thing, but when you take shoe polish and write all over every available window space? Not so good. Most people tend to be somewhat freaked out when they pull into a yard and notice all the government conspiracy theories you written all over the windows.