Monday, February 15, 2010

The old green eyed monster

I have a love/hate relationship with facebook.  I love being able to catch up and keep up with my friends, but at the same time I sometimes feel inadequate after seeing all the accomplishments some of them have made.  One case in point, the friend that I had in high school that went on to get her law degree and publish countless papers.  She has the huge house, the cutest little girl imaginable, the awesome husband, and she travels all of the time.  Not work travel, but the fun kind.  You know the Bahamas, Martha's Vineyard, Italy and so on. Places that I will most likely never be able to see. Or the friend that just added an 'addition' to her home that is bigger than my house.  It's not just those with the great material things either.  Yesterday I reconnected with an old friend that has been teaching in Thailand for the past five years and helped build a new school over there.  I think that one actually got to me more than the others because she did something really good ya know?  It made me wonder what have I accomplished with my life.  When I went to bed last night I actually dreamed that my life was different.  I dreamed that I had the body that I had when I was oh, about 18 and that basically my life was perfect.  Then I woke up.  I woke up to two of my children fighting over the wii, and a house that looked like a tornado hit it really hard.  As I looked down at my out of shape body and got out of bed to face the day I was depressed.  I began to clean the house and as I did I realized something.  The clutter I was picking up was from the special valentine celebration my kids planned yesterday.  I was ashamed of myself.  How could I ever think that my life was bad?  Sure, we outgrew our house about six years ago, but we have one.  And yes, my kids argue, but they love each other so much it makes me want to cry with happiness.  As far as what have I accomplished?  That's easy.  I've brought three of the smartest, sweetest, funniest, cutest little girls into the world and one day they are going to grow up to become awesome women.  So for now as I play catch up with my friends I'll be happy for them and what they have done with their lives, but at the same time keep in mind that I have a pretty great one myself.  

1 comment:

Londen @ Sixty-Fifth Avenue said...

It is hard not to think about what we don't have. I do it too.
But you are so right! Look at those beautiful girls you have, you are so lucky to have them and they have each other. Sisters.